I know nobody really reads or follows my blog and if there is anyone that does then I appreciate it. To be honest I don’t care if nobody does I use this blog to get things off my chest, like a diary really.
Recently, only a couple of weeks ago, I got dumped by my girlfriend, for the second time after given her a chance. Now this as happened she has carried in as normal and I have been left heartbroken like before. People may think I’m soppy or even stupid for saying this but I thought she was the one, but sadly she wasn’t.
I now still see her everyday, because we get the same bus to and from college. She’s there laughing and smiling away with her friends, while I’m stood at the front of the bus, alone and sad, trying to keep the tears back. However, if I ever do talk to anyone I put on a fake smile and act like everything is fine, when I know it isn’t.
Since I have been single (which hasn’t been that long so I know I shouldn’t really be over her yet) I am still not over her, but feel like I should be moving on. However, I just can’t, every time I see her I expect her to come over and just kiss me, like this has just been a terrible nightmare, but inside I know it won’t happen.
Everyday I ask myself: Will I ever be over her? Will my heart ever be fixed? Will I ever have a girlfriend again? I’m that type of guy that looks at the negative side of life and my answers to the questions are: No! No! And No! Maybe the reason I think that is because I haven’t opened up to anyone about what happened and haven’t told anyone the reason for her dumping me. But I don’t know and only I will know.
On the up side there has been a good thing to come out of this experience. That one thing is that I have managed to get a part of my best friend back. By that I mean a week or so before I got back with my ex, my best mate (who has been for 15 odd years) got himself a girlfriend. And don’t get me wrong I was really happy for him and I do like her. But it made me feel like I would loose him because of him getting with his girlfriend.
However, since I got dumped he has been there for me and I knew that I could talk to him about it if I needed to. Although, I haven’t filled opened up to him I know that he is always there for me no matter what, even if he does have a girlfriend. To be honest he isn’t my best mate he is more like my brother the brother I always wanted. I know he probably won’t see this but I can’t thank him enough for what he has done and eventually I will repay him. I love you mate and I will always be here for you through everything, you will never loose me.
I also need to thank his girlfriend because she has also been there for me. She’s put up with some of my shit and allowed me to third wheel with them (not that that is much fun). I knew that when she put up with my shit she was a keeper for him. So thank you Jucy!
I just now hope that I can get over the girl I used to love with all my heart and move on. It will be hard but eventually I will do it with the support of my friends and family.
P.S. If you want my advice: There will be people you may love they will come and go but the people that remain constant are the ones to keep close to you.